Pennermag.com

Newspapers:

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run the
country.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but
don’t really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like their
smog statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the
country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn’t have to leave LA
to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country
and they did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s
running the country, and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on
the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the
country either, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably
while intoxicated.
9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a
country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all
that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are
handicapped, minority, lesbian, feminist, atheist, or dwarfs, or who also happen to be
illegal aliens from ANY country or galaxy as long as they are Democrats.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but
need the baseball scores.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery
store.

(more…)

A pretty good book. I would recommend it. The best part, the main character Wendy and her ‘Zest for Life.’

The worst part — the authors lack of quotation marks.

(more…)

You know how formulaic sitcoms go:

The main character (no doubt a fat guy in a t-shirt, matching flannel, skinny wife) gets a visit from a long lost friend whom you ve never seen before.

They went to the same summer camp. They immediately (with a backdrop of canned laughter) launch into an old camp song that only they know.

While most of it is made up some of this is true camp songs that is. While writing yesterday s blog, I realized that I remembered a lot from my Camp Jewell days. One of those things is our Sunbeam Song. Now the girl campers were Sunbeams, the boys, Explorers.

The song, well, here goes:

We re Sunbeams born,
We re Sunbeams bred,
And when we die,
We re Sunbeams dead.

So rah, rah for Jewell,
Rah rah for Jewell,
Rah rah for Camp Jewell.

C mon Sunbeams girls, let s fall in line,
Find a trail and hike it anytime,
Swimming and canoeing, ay, ay, ay,
Camp Jewell and all, it s sports we are, we are, we are
Camp, camp, camp, camp all the time
Good health we all will quickly find,
Fair place, square place, sis boom bah,
Rah, rah, ra-a-ah.

We re the Sunbeam girls you hear so much about,
People stop and stare at us whenever we go out,
As we go marching, can t you hear the people P-L-A-Y,
You ll hear us shouting,
The girls of Camp Jewell are on their way-ay-ay, hey!

I know there are a group of girls who remember this song, my bunkmates for years, Diana, Susan, Jill, and others I can t remember. We didn t have a secret handshake. But those are years of my life where bug juice, Triangle Lake, and long siestas fill my memories.

(more…)

I just found out I have been booked to fly on Delta in less than two weeks. I ve been boycotting Delta Air Lines since August 8, 1988. Since they are still in business, this probably has not been an effective boycott.

After spending my first summer away from home when I was sixteen years old (other than months at Camp Jewell in northwestern Connecticut), I flew from Los Angeles to New York.

It was the first time I flew first class. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I think the stewardesses (excuse me, flight attendants) harassed me for at least three of the five hours of the flight.

I had a ticket. I had the right to be there. But, that didn t stop them from asking if I had the right seat about a thousand times.

In his 1988 book, Theo and Me, Malcolm Jamal-Warner expressed frustration at this same experience, flying first class.

This time I m flying coach so I don t expect any problems since I ll be sitting in my place.

(more…)

Saturday afternoon found me jumping for joy! I was thrilled when I got my mail.

Why? I was finally called for Jury Duty. I’ve been dying to be called for jury duty for the thirteen years I’ve been registered to vote. Why you ask? Because, in the years that I represented the poor and underprivilaged, and the not so poor and privileged, I’ve never seen anyone in a jury pool that looks like me. Black women, college educated, with revolutionary politics.

When I went to court, I didn’t see a jury of their peers — very poor or very privilaged.

I’ve branded the system biased — the deceased previous owner of my home has been solicited for jury duty a dozen times, me alive and well, never — until Saturday. I’ve been registered to vote in three states — and no jury summons — until Saturday.

Other than transferring my location — I’m not driving seventeen miles to Compton — I’m ready to serve. Criminal or civil trial, it doesn’t matter. It will be nice to be a courtroom and not have so much at stake for me or my clients. I’m dying to see how persuasive attorneys can be. Will the judge be fair? I’m awash in anticipation.

A few years ago, I read Actual Innocence – from Barry Scheck and the folks at the Innocence Project. I belive (egomaniac that I am) that if I were on a jury folks like that would not be wrongly convicted.

Rightly, or wrongly, there’s a strong belief that African-American women are the most fair jurors. I hope this stereotype gets me on the jury and we’ll see what happens from there.

(more…)