Andy Richter passed me a cafe mocha this weekend. Again — Adam has powers of observation on Larchmont Boulevard that continue to amaze me. Not only did he recognize this former Conan O’Brien sidekick — never having watched the show — but also knew he’d had a short-lived, nineteen episode, television show — Andy Richter Controls the Universe.

After getting my coffee, I sat down with my bagel when none other than our new police chief Bill Bratton walks by. I’m credited with this one. Adam didn’t even notice him. Had my mouth not been full of half-chewed bagel, I would have loved to have talked to him about the LAPD. When you call the police . . . they don’t come — at least not to my neighborhood. But when some African-American man was suspected of home invasion robberies in the chi-chi neighborhood of Hancock Park to the north — fifty to sixty officers were assigned to the case.

I don’t know anything about this Andy Richter fellow, but if he controlled the universe, it may be better than Bill Bratton. After the dismissal of Bernard Parks, he was appointed to the head position at LAPD — to do what he ‘did’ in New York City — clean up the streets. I’m no fan of the Bill Bratton’s ‘broken windo’ policy of arresting graffiti vandals and the homeless — turning once dodgy Times Square into a New York version of Disneyland. But his leadership hasn’t really seemed to have much of an effect here. Every night graffiti is sprayed everywhere in LA and every morning weary shop owners spray it over. Everyday I pass the same homeless folks on La Brea, on Wilshire, on Pico, on Venice as affluent shop patrons do their best to ignore them.

Bratton claims he needs more money and more police officers — given the number of police that respond to every little thing — I think the LAPD would be better of starting with the allocation of resources.

Andy Richter doesn’t control the universe. Bill Bratton doesn’t control the universe. Resident of the City of Los Angeles wished someone at least took the reigns to control this city.

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