Sometimes men just amuse me.
There are several things that try a marriage, long car trips, home improvement projects, moving . . . .
Whenever Adam and I embark on a project – there is some friction. Mainly because I believe a good set of pliers, a hammer, and an electric screwdriver are all the tools one would ever need – and Adam needs a tool chest. The other issue – my thoughts on the ‘man grip.’
I’m sure you’ve seen this. Men pick up and move mattresses and furniture without ever grabbing anything. Rather, they grip everything. It involves bending the hands at a ninety degree angle and using all your upper body strength to hold on to dressers, chairs and the like. My method for moving things involves finding (or using the existing) grip, handle, etc., to easily maneuver objects around.
I was apparently absent when the man classes were being held.
Lesson One: Man Grip – see above.
Lesson Two: Hand Signals –
When one man is maneuvering a car into a tight space, other men in the area must immediately start motioning directions. You should see the look of frustration I spawn when trying to follow these directions. Waving toward your own body means move closer, I think. Then there are right turns, left turns, reverse left, reverse right – needless to say I don’t know this sign language – so usually, if I’m involved (and I try not to be), I just get out of the car and hand over the keys.
You must understand that these lessons are so powerful, that a man not otherwise involved in the activity – must participate. When we were moving last month, it took all the self control in the world for Adam to not throw his hands into the mix. It was like a train wreck he couldn’t stop watching.
Lesson Three: Tools
Why use one tool, when ten will do. Some days I start the simplest of home improvement projects – whistling away. But little do I know Adam lurks in the background with tool box in tow. I brought the furniture to our marriage . . . Adam brought a tool box (and a pillow, I think). Usually, I’m going to do something that needs only pliers, and a hammer, or an electric screwdriver, and a hammer. Next thing I know, there’s a derisive snort behind me, and the admonition, “Get out of the way and just get me my tool box.” Wrenches are tried and discarded, different screw drivers are applied, and my ten minute project – is an hour long project. But hey, at least he used the right tools.
Lesson Four: It’s a Race – but you’ll have to look back to get the rules on that one.
