Sometimes I think that husbands are an impediment to friendships with women.  You know how it is . . . you and your girlfriends get along famously, but when you throw husbands in the mix . . . .

Couples outings can be hard.  Women start budding friendships . . . we want to go out . . . take our husbands with us.

But then husbands can sometimes come in and muck it up.  You know the ones, the blowhards who talk non stop.  The husbands — ‘know-it-alls’ who are experts at everything — meaning nothing.  The husbands who corner you at parties, and never let you go.  The husbands who drink too much, flirt too much, care for their wives (your friends) too little.

Lately, my husband doesn’t want to spend time with these other husbands.  He doesn’t understand their one upmanship, and doesn’t want to play the game.  He’s tired of going to parties, he says, and being baited by men who want to engage in a pissing contest.  He doesn’t want to spend time with these men who have to be an expert in every topic that ever comes to the table.

My husband saying this, finally, was considerable.  All those times we went out and he was quiet (an unnatural state for him), I thought he was just being shy.  In reality, he was just bowing out of the men games.

Why did he do it then, I asked?  Because they’re your friends, and it was important to you.  The truth is, I didn’t like the husbands either, but I was trying to be sociable.

I’m not sure what the solution is (other than spending time with only those couples you like), but I think more time with just ‘the girls’ may be more fun.

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