Having followed the Village Voice series, Generation Debt, I
was tops on the library request list for the book by Anya Kamenetz.

The marginally employed, debt-free, Yale graduate forgot one
important thing in the living-with-debt scheme – how student loan debt effects
your relationships.

The same issue has come up time and again. Why don’t we visit family more often. The latest guilt inducing trip is a birthday
party for Adam’s stepmother – on Long Island.   And yes we’d have to stay at a hotel. And yes, we still live in Los  Angeles.

Last month it was a phone call from my mother imploring me
to visit my ageing grandmother.

The month before that it was Adam’s grandfathers bar mitzvah
(and don’t ask me to explain that).

We’ve tried to honor these requests, but each one starts at
a thousand and can quickly rack up to several thousand dollars.

This month marks ten years out of school – and I’m still
living on a few hundred dollars disposable income a month. And no matter how many times Adam or I say it
– no one seems to believe that we don’t have any money.

Our families keep
saying – oh, but you’re attorneys – you should have money. Adam’s sister had her son refer to him as her
rich uncle. You’ve got to be kidding.

Two years ago we went into credit card debt – five thousand
dollars to the tune of thirteen percent interest – to spend time with Adam’s
ailing mother at Disneyworld (don’t ask – just click
here). It took us forever to pay that
off – but not before someone mentioned another trip.

The loans are persistent. They’re virtually non-dischargeable. There is no payment holiday. We’re still paying the thousands of dollars a month we were paying ten
years ago. And there are quite a few
years to go.

Sure, everyone probably agrees that education is
important. But the burden of paying for
that education has fallen on the students. And the students with lifetimes of debt can’t gallivant across the country
at the drop of a hat.

It’s perhaps a cautionary tale to parent so eager to subject
their children to a lifetime of debt. Unless you visit them, they may not be able to visit you and attend
every wedding, christening, bar mitzvah, birthday, and anniversary that comes
down the pike. If the choice lies with
staying home or staying in credit card debt – I’d rather stay home.

(more…)