One of the earliest life lessons I’ve learned is about letting go.  As the song goes, ‘you can’t always get what you want.’

I’ve never wanted to be president.  Early on, I gave up on the really unattainable goals.  My dreams have been smaller - more directed.

On dream I’ve had for years is that I would be a television executive.  More Brandon Tartikoff, less Les Moonves.  After reading Three Blind Mice and the plethora of other books that came before and after about the business of television, I was convinced it was the world for me.

A circuitous route took me to California where, like so many others, I decided to seek my fortune.  I broadcast to anyone who would listen my desire to work in television.  I sought out hundreds of jobs, legal and non-legal.  I cold called anyone who would talk to me.

The result?  Like every other job endeavor, I made hundreds of calls, went to dozens of interviews, waited patiently for years for jobs to open up, and the result for me:  Nada, Zero, Zippo, Nothing.  There was no job for me - no matter how well credentialed I was or how articulate I appeared to be.

So after six long years, I finally decided to hang it up.  I’m letting go of this dream.  It’s too bruising on the psyche to sit in front of dozens of people who don’t look like me trying to prove that I can do this entry level, legal, extra legal job.  I’ve return home too many times high with the possibilities of working at ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, the WB (or CW).  Only to be disappointed when I’m not the right fit, I’m too experienced, too inexperienced, there’s someone else, or I’m too black.

I don’t believe in platitudes like it wasn’t meant to be.  But I’ve decided that I don’t want it bad enough to spend the remainder of my thirties trying to start my entertainment career.  It was a hard decision to come to.  I’m not a quitter, and it’s difficult giving up.  But it seemed like it was time.