Archive for July 3rd, 2008
Do we have to be friends?
Not to sound unkind, but sometimes you meet people and you don’t want to be their friend. At the ripe old age of thirty-six, I’m trying to figure out how to get this message across, in the nicest way of course. Ah, the problem with being a woman, we’re always trying to be nice about it.
Here’s the scenario. Met a woman through work. She drives me nuts. She’s one of those people who, though she’s a black woman my age, felt free to tell me that she’s not a fan of living or working or being around black people. I know, I know, I should have said to her right then, I’m black, maybe you shouldn’t be talking to me either,. But did I do it? No.
Instead, I let her pester me, interrupt my workday, and drag me to tasteless ’safely ethnic’ lunches. When she got another job, paying almost three times as much as our meager salaries, was I jealous, no. In fact, I was quite relieved. I wouldn’t have to see her day after day, thank goodness.
Every so often, I get an e-mail from her. “Hey,” she writes, “Let’s get together.” I’ve put her off for months being busy, and all that. I just got one two days ago. DH, who met her at a party and found her fantastically boorish, said, just never respond to her e-mails, she’ll get the hint.
That seems dishonest somehow; a sin of omission. Now I’m trying to figure how to distance myself without being mean – that woman thing again. Age has brought wisdom to a lot of things, but not this.
